There’s also a lot of kissing, which feels right for Ana on her first time.Īna’s first time trying bondage with Christian Notes: We see a lot of Christian’s butt, a supporting actor in the first Fifty Shades film, which seems to have gotten better offers elsewhere and appeared in fewer scenes in the sequels.
Tools used: Just an old-fashioned penis and vagina. We gathered up all of the key sex scenes from the franchise - i.e., those in which the characters have sex onscreen for an extended period of time, and penetration is depicted and/or implied - and rated them according to, to quote Anastasia Steele herself in Fifty Shades Darker, their “kinky fuckery.” (That’s two different metrics, since we’re gauging both adventurousness and sexiness.) This is entirely subjective, but we hope you’ll follow us on this journey of sexual discovery and riding in expensive vehicles, regardless. So how good is the sex in the Fifty Shades movies, really? Which is the sexiest Fifty Shades sex scene? This is a question that we, and math, have set out to answer. Christian and Ana mostly prefer to go at it missionary style, with the occasional use of a prop or two, with all the vigor of college students in a stripped-down production of The Crucible. Because really, despite the fact that Jamie Dornan has the body of a hammerhead shark that willed itself into being a human with a Barry’s Bootcamp membership, the sex in the Fifty Shades movies never looks that great. By “a lot,” I’m simply referring to quantity, and by “sex,” I mean scenes in which two adults mimic the activities of humans engaging in intercourse, but with better mood lighting and a slowed-down pop song in the background.
The Fifty Shades franchise has given us so much - the rise of bored icon Dakota Johnson, hours of footage of Jamie Dornan’s best confused/acting face, a vision of life in a wealthy Seattle that’s actually Vancouver - but more than anything, it has delivered a lot of sex to the multiplex.